I recently attended the Thriving Mom Conference in Utah County put on by Lisa Andersen of Thriving Motherhood. Lisa was joined by Jody Moore, Georgia Anderson, and Ralphie Jacobs to speak about motherhood and what we can do to feel confident and thrive in our parenting.
The conference focused on 3 Guiding Principles:
- Managing your thoughts
- Learning and applying parenting techniques and tools
- Managing your time
Over the next several days I am going to share with you what I learned from these amazing women. Here is what I learned from Jody Moore.
Thoughts and emotions
Jody is a Certified Life Coach, podcaster, momologist, speaker, mother, and wife. You can find her at her website: Bold New Mom, her podcast: Better Than Happy, and her Instagram @jodymoorecoaching. She talked about emotions. She said that your emotions come from your thoughts and that you can work to change those thoughts to be positive so that you can have positive emotions vs negative emotions.
Your brain is very powerful, and for some reason it makes you believe that “you are going to die” in hard situations or if you do something new. The truth is that “the worst thing that can happen is a negative emotion.” The worst-case scenario is that you end up sad, embarrassed, mad, frustrated, overwhelmed, or so many other negative emotions. And negative emotions are “not that big of a deal.”
Don’t fear negative emotion
When you feel an emotion you have 3 options on how to deal with it. Those include:
If you choose to Resist emotion, the emotion actually intensifies. Resisting emotion can lead to other problems, including health problems.
Avoiding emotion causes you to do things to try to escape those emotions. You may try to escape by eating (chocolate, carbs, or junk food), shopping, or getting on social media because these things give your brain a small amount of dopamine and boosts your mood. However, this boost is temporary, and your behaviors of avoiding can actually add more negative emotions to your plate.
By Processing your emotions, you allow your body to feel. You acknowledge that it is there. You find it, and then you can let it go. You need to be able to master this skill and help your children do the same thing.
“Feeling negative emotion is required if you want to live an amazing life.”
The future and beliefs
Jody talked about the future and how you need to keep thinking about your future. When you are little you think about our future all the time. You think about your career choices, you think about finding an amazing man to marry, you think about how many children to have, about living in an amazing house, etc. As you get older and as those things actually happen, you tend to stop thinking about the future.
However, thinking about the future brings excitement. Without excitement you feel dead inside. When you plan a vacation, you naturally think about the future, and you get excited about it. You need to think about your future in the same way. Let your thoughts become reality. Your brain is going to tell you that you can’t, don’t believe it. When you have a thought to take an adult ballet class, DO IT, don’t let your brain tell you that you can’t because you don’t know how to dance.
I took an adult ballet class this spring and it was amazing. It was full of moms with different levels of dance background from none to those who have danced their whole life. We didn’t compare ourselves to each other and we lifted each other up in learning a new skill. It was fun and it was great self care for me.
The same thing applies to you and your thoughts. If you want to try something new, DO IT. Believe in yourself and think positively. Jody said that, “a belief is a thought that you keep thinking,” and that “belief is what creates your current reality.”
Parenting and thoughts/emotions
From what I’ve shared so far, you may be wondering what this has to do with parenting. It has EVERYTHING to do with parenting.
If your child does something, whether it is good or bad, you have thoughts about it. And those thoughts create an emotion. That emotion can then affect the way you act towards that child and throughout the day.
Jody shared an experience that she had. She would wake up irritated each morning that her kids had climbed into bed with her and her husband during the night. She said that she would go to bed, and several hours later wake up to see her 2-year-old in bed with them and she would think, “This is ridiculous!” She would go back to sleep and several hours later wake up again to see that her 4-year-old had joined in too. She would again think, “This is ridiculous!” A couple hours later she would wake up to the cat adding to the mix and think, “This is ridiculous!” Then she would wake up in the morning and wonder why she was to irritated and frustrated in the morning.
Her husband one day said to her that he felt like their bed was a “Magic Show.” And that it was “magic” that their kids kept appearing throughout the night. He was looking at it in a positive way, having positive thoughts, and therefore positive emotions.
You can do the same thing when your child behaves negatively. Force your brain to think a positive thought such as, “They are leaning and I can help them.” Instead of a negative thought such as, “Why did they do that again!” This positive thought will help you to have a positive emotion which will help your child in a positive manner. This will take practice.
Changing your thoughts is to look at people with love rather than trying to change them. This includes looking at yourself with love.
Jody explained that, “Your emotional health affects your kids more than whether you work or stay at home.”
Your emotional health affects you and those around you more than you think.You matter. You being happy matters. You can’t help anyone until you have helped yourself.
You can do hard things. What you believe matters. You are enough, don’t let your brain tell you otherwise.
You are ALWAYS, and have always been, 100% worthy, lovable, and enough.
Jody shared so many wonderful things. I am excited to be able to share them with you. Make sure to check her out on her website, her podcast, and on Instagram and share everything you learn with those you care about.
I hope that my sharing what I have learned will help you as a woman and mother. I hope that by learning about thoughts and emotions you feel more empowered and confident to think about the future and to do new things.
You are powerful. I hope this article has helped you recognize the power that you already have within, and that you will join me in spreading that recognition to everyone you know.
Check out Part 2 here.